There is a life past everything !!

 At that height i could not tell was it a cloud too near or was it dense fog. Last year during my trip to Himachal Pradesh, India, i was on the Solang peak. While it was enervating climbing even a distance of 100 meters the view into the valley took everything with a gust. It was snow everywhere and the mountain peaks far away were looking like a whittle out of ice. Mesmerized by the immaculate beauty of nature i walked away from my group of friends to get some time wondering over the thoughts in the mind of god when he created such beauty.

People there were quite, no one was interested in looking at the other. People were taking pictures randomly because everything around was too beautiful.



I asked to myself what was so relieving about the location? It was not only the whitest snow, greenest trees and yellow sun; the relief was in the mind. The location made me free from the strongest of bonds i have with the people in the world. The relief is in the solitude, friends can make you laugh, parents can care for you the most, a lover can understand you the most but it's only you who can understand the silence of your thoughts. Nature takes you back into the world where you were before birth. It makes you feel the completeness of ' 0 ', ending at the same point where you started from. We are destined to complete that cycle of birth and death. We were born in the bed, incapable of doing anything and most of us will end in the bed in the same condition.



That moment i realized why nature is called the mother nature.



Despite of having all the worries, thousands of pending work on the earth, i felt like a free bird. I felt the relief in the heart and just one thing came to my mind with the smile, "there is a life past everything and all of us are destined for few things".

हाँ शायद नशा ही है !!

किसी की आखें है प्यार क नशे में धुन्द्लाई सी,

किसी की चाल है पैसे क नशे में इतराई सी,

कोई है काम के नशे में है खोया खोया,

किसी को है इस जवानी का नशा थोडा थोडा |

लत है नशे की,

या जिन्दगी अहेसास के साथ जीने का खौफ है तुम्हे,

अपनी जिन्दगी से शिकायत है की,

किसी की सुझाई जिन्दगी पाने की दरकार है तुम्हे |

क्यूँ  नहीं बढती है यह घडी लम्हा लम्हा कर के,  

क्यूँ निकल जाते है साल हमारे किसी चीज़ का इंतज़ार करते करते,

क्यूँ नहीं हो पाता है प्यार अपनी खुद की चीजों से,

क्यूँ आज भी एक नशे की जरुरत है अपने खयालो से भागने क लिए |

हो नशा तो हो जिन्दगी जीने का,

हर लम्हे को अपना कर लेने का,

हर अहसास को एक नाम दे देने का,

हर मुस्कराहट को एक पैगाम समझ लेने का,

हर याद को एक हीरा समझ लेने का,

                                                        हर रिश्ते को एक पहेचन दे देने का,

हिचकी को किसी का प्यार समझ लेने का ||

The Pivot

The world never stopped for a fraction of second. When someone sleeps the other one wakes up. The world is moving with a pace which had never lowered itself down. Some philosophers claim that this creation, the world, is like a machine and we are just a small part of the system. They claim us to be the part of the machine. But every machine has a central element, the heart of the machine, the pivot; for which every part of the machine works. That central element is precious. There is no need for the other parts to work without that pivot element.

            Now the question arises, what is the pivot around which the whole mass of the people working? Is everyone working for the progress of the world?  Look around you and your answer will be sure NO. Some says that it’s curiosity of the man which is driving this world. Some says it’s doubt and the reasoning power of the man. They have their views about it. I won’t nod. According to me they are around the bullseye but not hitting it.

            Man is selfish by nature. He can’t sacrifice himself over anything. Whatever human do intuitively or rationally he works for his selfish sake, for his own happiness. Yes this is the pivot the world is revolving around.

Now you will say “but I didn’t do all I have done for my happiness only …. but I did it for my parents … I did it for my children … I did it for my society … I did it for my nation … or I did it for the world … or the worst one, I did it because god wanted me to do it.”

I can quote all the above you have said more appropriately. “yes I did all I have done for my own happiness … because if I haven’t done that, then my parents would have been unhappy and I can’t see them unhappy because it makes me unhappy too … I did it for my children because if I hadn’t done that I would have made my children sad and I can’t see them sad as it makes me unhappy too… I am doing it because I believe in god and the world beyond this earth which people call heaven and hell so I am making my reservation confirmed in heaven because u know hell is HELL ….  ”.

            Now you have started thinking that all of the above sentences I quoted involves the word MY. “and what about that 100 Rs bill that I gave to a lame beggar I saw at railways station … I did it to make him happy .. ” … ooouuu u got me ?? right ?? Ok .. in this case I doubt whether you are a kind person or not but I surely can’t call you a miser. You got some relief by buying happiness for someone on the cost of 100 Rs., isn’t that cheap, I have heard about people who spends thousands of rupees to enjoy vacations for that happiness.

            It’s really a human privilege to feel the happiness out of all the things he do and it’s really not shameful if you call yourself selfish. Your happiness must be your prime motive and it will be great if your loved ones can find your deed as a source of happiness for themselves.  

            What the world would have been if Sir Albert Einstine couldn’t find any joy in doing his researches? What the world would have been if there were no one who could find the happiness in fighting for the freedom of his own nation. Every human is like a star, looks very similar from a distance but have differences at their basic level. The sense of one’s happiness defines personality. It is the thing which suggests the adjective for a person which is placed just before the name of a man to give it a meaning.  

The grace world has lost.

“Daddy!!! “, little Arjun ran down the hall to the armchair his daddy was resting on after a long day at office.

“humm”, his father nodded without exercising his shut eyelid.

“look daddy, what I have drawn”

“ohh .. let’s see what my little Picaso has drawn today”.

With a little struggle with his posture his dad took the drawing sheet into his hand and had a quick look over the drawing his 7 year old son has made. The boy was curious, his performance was being measured and he was already giggling expecting a quick result. His father has always been happy to see his paintings and even has appreciated and encouraged his performances of wax drawing.
But today his father was silent rather disappointed. His father took his spectacles from the table and took a closer look into his drawing.

Now Arjun was anxious.

His drawing pictured 5 giant skyscrapers, far away in vision, having a very little distance between them. They were colored differently with bright colors. Above a skyscraper half sun was visible. The half visible sun was filled with bright yellow color showering full rays, depicted by lines, all around. Nearby the sun, Arjun drew a black helicopter which was going from above the skyscrapers. Below the skyscraper Arjun drew few roads with cars racing each other. The drawing was satisfactory despite lacking some kind of neatness and few colors with which the buildings were colored. Little cars were yet to be colored.

After having a look at the drawing Arjun’s father remembered his childhood days. He remembers what they were used to draw when they were asked to draw some scenery. In their drawings there were mountains which Arjun replaced with skyscrapers, there have been an orange colored morning sun, which was used to be depicted as a friend of earth not the enemy. There have been some birds in the sky which Arjun replaced with the helicopter and there were green lush grounds in which children were pictured happy playing some game and there have been a lake aside. That was the picture of the days which they could imagined the best.

Father was still silent, he took his spectacles off.

“I know I haven’t colored it properly yet” Arjun said.

“Give it back, let me color it more properly and I m sure you will like it then”, Arjun clinched his drawing sheet back in a flash and rushed back to his room.

His father came into his previous relaxed posture, realized how far today’s generation is from the natural beauty. This generation doesn’t know how great it is to be surrounded by the nature. How beautiful the sun looks when it is orange. What does the shadow of a tree mean when an exhausted traveler rests under it? How cool and how quenching is the water of a pot. How melodious a cuckoo sings and what a swarm of birds in the sky look like. These kids are far away from the gifts of the nature.

“How different their world is? He only knows what I have made known to him.”, he spoke in his mind.

With this thought next day his father woke up at 6:00 AM and took Arjun to the terrace of their apartment which was the roof of the 15th floor. From there Arjun's father tried to show him the sky he never cared of. Arjun's father really tried to convince Arjun over the view of the world he had in his eyes. Then accompanied with Arjun he went for a long drive into the woods of the city where the mankind would have hopefully left something for Arjun to be learned and admire.

I wish my father quarrel with my mom every day:

Leaping to keep up the pace, clutching the index figure of his dad, little Arjun took a small jump of exhilaration in the air. After few steps to the parking bay he asked his dad the same question which has not been answered by his father since evening “Dad, how often we can enjoy like this”. Without saying a word his father kept walking to the car. In between the drive to their home Arjun kept on cherishing the few hours he spend the day out with his dad. He had a visit to an amusement park where he did all the fun he wanted to do for months. He remembered of the Roller coaster ride he had few months back when he visited the same park with his parents. Today the excitement was doubled when he made a new friend in the park and had the same roller coaster ride again. At the front seat of his car he was still feeling the same excitement.

After having a lot of fun in the amusement park Arjun and his father had a terrific dinner at a restaurant. The dinner was all Arjun’s pick. He was so very happy that evening because after a long pleading to his father and mother Arjun finally did all he asked his parents for. Arjun was almost blond, well mannered, fair skinned 6 year old boy. He was known for his sensibility at this age. His loneliness has made him independent of any help, all a 6 year old boy need to have, to finish his daily chores. With both the parent working, Arjun had a lot of time to spend alone and think about himself. He had to spend almost 6 hours with their house help maid waiting his parents to arrive home from the work. While his mother’s timings were almost fixed and she arrives daily at 8 PM, his father’s work had no particular timing to reach the home. But he always tried to finish all his work till 9 PM and that was the time when they had a formal family meeting while the dinner after which Arjun was asked to sleep with the house help as he has to arise early in the morning for the school. This was the daily routine of the family members among whom the maid  was the only one who had to bear the major responsibilities of Arjun.

But today was Arjun’s the favorite day. The Sunday; the day when his all family have to be at the home for the whole day long. When the car took the final turn to reach the home, the pathetic thought of abiding the same old pathetic daily routine swarmed to his mind. But the pleasure continued. After reaching the home Arjun’s dad followed Arjun to his room. Arjun had a separate room in the big apartment where he was supposed to be with the maid during the night too. But today was a special day. Arjun’s dad ordered the maid to sleep somewhere else as he decided to sleep with Arjun. While giggling in the bed with his dad, lying keeping his head over his arm, sharing his innocent experiences, talking about his friends and teachers at school, Arjun read a lot of affection in his dad’s eyes. Suddenly he stopped while talking about one of his friend. When you are  at the end of a very pleasant experience, the thought of its end seems to be the end of the world to you. The same thought snapped Arjun too. The same question came to his mind again and he again and finally he asked it to his dad again, “Dad, how often we can have the same fun we had today”. His definition of fun was all about the time he had with his father today. It wasn’t more about the amusement park, nor was it more about his favorite dishes.

 “Very often”, his dad replied to placate him keeping his eyes into his.

Arjun was quite. Even when he got the answer in his favor he was expressionless. May be he couldn’t trust the answer his father gave to him.

After a moment of silence Arjun spoke, “I wish you to quarrel mother everyday”. Arjun turned aside removing his dad’s arm under his head, and turned off the lights.

Arjun’s dad went in the journey to the past to figure out what went wrong in the past years when he did almost everything in his power to keep his son happy.

Arjun was still awake. After a long duration, in the dark room, without changing his posture he said, “You share bed with me only when you have some issues with the mother and this is why I want you to quarrel mother every day”.

His dad was speechless. Speechless and balked with the immutable truth his son said. He tried to feel the pain his child had in his heart. But the time you are adult you become impotent to feel such emotions which can only spurt out in a child’s heart. The whole night he kept thinking “can I obviate the problem by sleeping with my kid every night”. The answer was NO. This was the most logical, amiable agreeable and pragmatic thing to be done according to his dad.

But this was not all his son needed to be happy. The mistake has been done. And no one was going to forget it.

Next day Arjun ripped away all the pages from his wish book and on the first page of it there was a new entry with black sketch pen which read “I WISH MY FATHER QUARREL WITH MY MOM EVERY DAY”

The child I miss!!

The child smiled gaily when he saw a blue colored elephant, yellow colored lion, red monkey and a black colored horse revolving above his head. All of them were tied to the ring with the help of a thread. And the ring was also tied to the rod of the cradle. The animal toys were far from the approach of the baby. But the smile was so genuine which made me doubt if the animals were giggling with him. The baby was amused with it. The baby I am talking about is just 8 months old. He can move around the house on his knees. I cajoled the activities of the child. I sat him free on the floor and rolled away his red football. The boy was looking at the ball very carefully. And the moment ball stopped at the other corner of the room he took a glance over me to show the rage. He dropped the toy he was playing with and with all his strength he reached the ball more quickly than I imagined. He reached the ball; picked it up with both hands and I saw a winsome smile over his face.
I just can't think of any other word but the love. The boy was in love, was in love with the world, with the things around him, his mother, father, anyone who picked him up in his hands, with the milk bottle, toys, with the television, with the cradle and even with the floor. He loved each one of them equally.
Once i was a child too. Was I in love with those things? I don't remember clearly. The things I loved and I remember were my cricket bat, my football, my blue ranger cycle, my colony friends, the cricket matches I played and my family members. Just those and the list is over. Really, i can't think of any other thing.
Now on the day I am writing all this I can't count anything other than my family which I love, just nothing. Every other thing has a better replacement. Laptop, bike, house, friends … yes even the friends, except the few diamonds.
What happened to that child I was talking about? I must have been like that. What happened to that young boy I remember? I don't know. I don't hate anything, but equally I also can't love a thing. What is the thing that mutated me into tushar Sharma you know? Nothing must has changed. My parents still love me the same way they loved me when I was born. I can buy all of those things who would have amused me if I were a baby. What the hell I gained to lose that feeling? The only answer I can pragmatically utter is the Rationality and the truth. These are the villeins I blame.
Who took my open smile of attraction, who took my grin; why my crackle wore a silence, why I became prim?

text:book :: people:world

To highlight the useful and important, I am used to underline the words and sentences i like while reading a text. The other possible way to doing so could be cutting off the lines i don't like. I don't do this. And as far as i have seen this world, nobody does. I don't cut them off because i know that those underlined words won't mean a thing if the surrounded text is blackened.
Such is the day to day life. You will meet very few people of your kind or whom you would like to keep in touch. You make a mental note about those people that "he is a nice chap", or "she is a good girl", or "that man is worth talking". But this doesn't make an analogy to the above example of text. We often feed ourselves with the ugly image of a person; which means cutting off some of the text from this book of people. Don't do that.
Don't cut off the text and keep your book neat and clean. No, not to show it to anyone else, but for your own selfish sake. Who want to read a messed book?

The balance of life

“Ahhh ... ”, cried my TV.
“And this is what I call the killer kick, my favorite one”, I said with excitement to my younger brother.
We were playing “The Spartan “, the favorite much more than pass time for both of us. It was just a few days back in the summer of 1999 when we purchased our video game player. I was 14 years old that time and my younger brother was just 10. He has always been better than me in most of the things we do together even now. I hope he is not reading this text.
The Spartan is a single as well as double player game in which you find yourself in a castle to fight with the other Spartans. During every stage you have to fight with almost 20 other Spartans and then at the time you exit that very part of the castle you have to fight with a monster having enormous power with which both of the team players has to fight, and the death of the opponent concludes the stage. Initially the blood level of both the players is displayed as 100% which lowers down according to the energy consumed while fighting and when you get a hit form the opponent. As you are a Spartan you also have an ability to jump high across the opponent and run away form them in order to preserve you blood.
“Don’t tell me that you have done the hell of a job. I could have also killed that silly bastard, And see with how much blood you are left with … 20 … just 20 … god damn it … I am not going to play with you again … now how we would fight the giant”, said my brother with lot of grief and anger.
When you play a video game or any other game you intuitively just want to win the game at any cost. It wasn’t like I was playing the game just for fun. The motive was clear in my mind too. And I was also so desperate to clear the stage. But I couldn’t resist myself to show my skills and power that time. I can’t resist it even now.
My brother was still left with 60% blood.
“Don’t you be apprehensive kiddoo … we will make”, I said.
“And don’t you call me kiddoo … no body is a kid over here, at least not me … you got that?” yelled my brother his lungs out.
“Do you need a solution guys”, my mother asked from the kitchen.
“No, mom … we are fine … we are not fighting not even a spat is happening over here. We are good”, both of us said because we know the way our mom was used to solve this very problem. Her solution was just simply plugging out the connecting cable between the video game device and the TV. And none of us wanted it to happen.
“and here comes the monster … god damn him how can he look so ugly?”, I said.
I still had 20% of my blood and my brother was still left with 60%.
My brother started giving him a tough time by jumping, hitting, defending, and then hitting.
“Let me deal with this bastard.” I said with a rush of blood in my head.
Kick, punch, flying kick, I was offending the giant.
“Save your blood”, said my highly concentrated brother.
One angry punch from the giant to my player.
“NO … NO”, and I dropped my remote in the bed.
Now sooner or later my brother’s player will also be dead and we would need to start the whole stage again, I thought with lot of grievance.
And same thing happened.
Giant killed both of us.
“I asked you to preserve you blood the million times, but you overheard it. Why can’t you control you self during the easy part of the stage”.
“I just can’t … ok ok … I will try to do it from now … ok”. I said.
My brother was right; he has asked to do so million of times. But I was helpless with myself. I saw an enemy in all of them. I wanted to give a clean sweep and win the stage. That thought was out of my control. I just wanted to demolish every single thing that came to my way.
We again happily started playing the stage without remembering the exchanged words.
Now after almost 10 years, today I recalled all these things and even now when I see both of us I find the same prominent difference between us. The valuable blood that was wasted during those games has become the time, money, emotions. Those stages have turned into years I have invested over the future. Those small other enemy Spartans has turned into day to day chores, office staff, detractors, and even sometimes they come out of me. That big giant has turned himself into the life time opportunities like job, career, other ambitions and search of a good partner.
Every thing is same behind the mask and I doubt I also am. I have always been hard on myself; I pushed myself like a machine into the things which enticed me a little without keeping the morality in mind. If I am doing a thing I must be best at it or I should not involve myself into an alien thing. With this in mind either I have lost many opportunities in life or I have wasted lot of efforts over the unimportant things.
You don’t really need to waste your energy over the small things that do not matter when you are running a marathon against time; neither you should waste your precious emotional assets over unimportant and non deserving people. These day-to-day enervating, suffocating happenings doesn’t need so much efforts. You never need to put yourself too hard for these things when you really have something big to do in your mind, something important. Yes it is all about setting your priorities; it is all about balancing yourselves which speak through the actions.

The Cost of Happiness

The speedometer was displaying 70 Km/hr, a white Honda City was ahead on the road traveling in same direction. I tried to buzz the car many times to let me pass the way but couldn't succeed. Finally at a moment I saw some room at the left of the car, and accelerated my bike. The car was around 20 meters ahead. As soon as I accelerated my vehicle to pass on, the car indicated to left turn, lowered down the pace and turned sharply. I put a sudden break on my speed, jammed the bike and luckily missed the accident by half a meter. I started yelling at the car driver without considering the distance, and his rolled up windows. I continued abusing him for the next 10 seconds and started up again. Now I could saw the traffic on the road which was not in my vision while I was driving at high speed.
I never drive my vehicle fast with a rage in mind. But today I did. I was upset with something. Nothing much really happened today, I reminded, while driving cautiously except facing the wrong attitude of a very dear friend of mine. In the later part of the day I scolded my junior at office when he asked me to permit him leaving early today.
I started my small trip from the office and was trying to reach the home as early as possible. But now I didn't want to go to the home. I passed the side way which leads me to my home every day and kept moving on. After a ride for 3 more kilometers I saw a small shopping complex. I had never been there before. It was looking like a quite place having few shops and few visitors. I promptly stopped my bike there. The time was around 6 PM and it was already dark. The parking area was just a few meters away from the complex. I parked my bike over there and sat over it. The parking guard came to me and asked me to pay for parking my bike over there. I was high on temper even that time. I shouted at him and said "are you nuts! Can't you see that I am not parking my bike? I will sit over it after putting it over the stand. I am not going to leave my bike and I won't ask you to take care of it". The guard replied politely that he can't allow that otherwise his supervisor will kill him. I quietly started my bike again and stopped it few meters away beside a tea maker. I asked him for tea and begin enjoying every sip of that ginger tea walking slowly nearby the shopping area. There was something in my mind, or many things were there in my mind I must better say. I was walking real slowly keeping my head down and thinking about the happenings these days. Suddenly I saw a 50 Rs note lying on the ground. I picked it up without thinking much about what I will do with it and putted it into the pocket.
I decided not to use that money and donate it to someone needy around. Now I was searching for the right being who can be in need of that money. My eyes stopped at a boy who must have been around 12-13 years old to this earth. I stand aside and started noting his activities. He was a servant at the road side fast food center with around 10 tables. The boy was serving the food, filling up the empty glasses over there. I watched his activities. He was doing his work with all his vigor. But it was very clearly written on his face that he surely didn't like his job much. Suddenly he turned around and yelled at a old man "buddhe, can't you hear what I said. Go to that table and clean up the mess there". The old man who must have been in his 70's quietly picked up a piece of dirty cloth and cleaned up the mess over there. The boy yelled again "buddhe, bring up 4 clean glass to this table" and the old man followed. That old man has wrapped himself in an old jacket, his hairs were dirty white and he was wearing worn slippers. His eyes were paranoiac. I watched the old man for another 5 minutes; he continued taking orders from the other members of the shop and did his work quietly without any expression at his face.
I found my candidate. I walked a few steps ahead called the old man up. I asked him "kaka ji, do you drink alcohol"? The man replied straightly "no sir, I don't do these kind of things." I fished out that 50 rupee note from my pocked and forwarded it to the old man. The man was completely shocked. He took a backward step and said "no sir, I can't do this". I really don't know why did I actually asked the man about alcohol but yes I am an anti alcoholic person and I don't want others to drink it at least not for the money I have given to them. So, realizing what the old man was thinking I again forwarded the note to him saying "please use the money the way you want". The old man took the note from me and just said "sahib aap kahan rahete ho?" I replied "it doesn't really matter", saying this to him I putted up my helmet and started walking towards my bike. I didn't turn back started my bike to leave for the home.
I was feeling quite relieved during the ride and was pondering over the question "what made me to give that money to that old man?" and "what is the thing that has relieved me?"
I don't consider myself as a kind person. I have never helped anyone with such an amount of money of my own. By the time of reaching the home I figured out the answer lies in the fact that "for big cricket fan, who aspired to be a cricketer once in his life, watching someone celebrating a century in the middle of the ground brings up the feeling of joy." It's like you know that you can never cherish the moment like that player and you satisfy yourself by thinking of the pleasure he is having at the middle of the ground. The same thing happened with me. I couldn't have purchased happiness with those 50 Rs, but I made someone happy with that small amount of money which in turn brought me the happiness which I would have failed to purchase.

Its her turn !!

I said:

I saw you,
I fell in love;
I thought of you, both night and day,
My mind just couldn't seem to get away;
I thought am I right or am I wrong,
This thing is happening to me from a way too long;
But now i really think it will last,
And with a yes from you we will live a better part … ;
May this better part last forever,
I know both of us will add our different pleasant flavor;
may this be as smooth, as light, as shiny, like a bubble,
and I believe we would make a beautiful couple.

Her turn:

I do believe you and admit your love,
But as far as I know you love yourself much;
If you love me more than yourself,
Then yes I will love you more than anyone else;

I said:

I believe that I love you more than I love myself,
But the questions this mind is asking has left me clueless,
It says,
"If she loves you more than you love yourself, then why she is coming to you?
Doesn't she know that the day you will realize someone loving you more than yourself given that you love her more than yourself then I will have to die?
Yes she wants me to die.
And this is why I am telling you that she is telling you a lie."
So, finally I have to return,
Now I know the truth and I can't love a person who doesn't love me in turn.

Her turn: ……………………………………………………………………

What was the theme under which this world was created?

I don't believe the hypothesis that the world has evolved, I believe in the creator. The creator who had everything very clear in his mind and worked accordingly. I wish if I could believe the scientific theory of the evolution of man but the thing that makes me wonder is the perfectness of the man. It is the smartness of this specie that can't be conceived without the concept of super power. I also believe in the nature and according to its name, it's natural. This is the only thing which is astonishing and has created itself, others being man made. No, the nature is not perfect but it's balanced. There are vast and endless deserts, there are depth less sea; there are places where nor you can enjoy lethal -20 degree Celsius temperature nor u can stand 60 degree of it. But when we see the nature as a whole it looks completely appropriate and balanced. It's vivacious, it's vivid, and the theme is quite clear; live. The thing I love about nature is it's equality for all beings.
Man has been the inhabitant of the earth since a long. Many of our ancestors told us a path to walk on and a way to live the life. But still there is no written clause under which everyone should everyone should lead his life to be successful. What is the definition of a completely successful person; can anyone give me an example? What is the set of rules which should be obeyed or I should better ask is there any of them? What is depraved and whom you can call a sinner. Why every one of us has to find his own way to lead the life? Many others like me must have existed on this earth and must have tried to solve the same questions I am trying. But the thing that makes me wonder is that, I have to start the same old journey travelled by many others, once again, with the same old point. When man can answer the most baffling puzzles left unanswered by our ancestors, why we can't answer this question which must has clicked on every head who has putted its weight on the earth.
The theme under which the world has been created is randomness. Randomness, which can be simply defined by dice. No matter how better you throw the dice in the same way the other has thrown, you would always be unable to get the same number other has got. This dice that is used upon you is not the same we use for playing. The dice we are familiar with has only six sides, leading to only six possibilities. The dice, that creator uses, and asks us to use has infinite sides. I would have been happy if I just had to be the part of this fair game which has a little probability of winning. But the game isn't fair; the dice he makes us to use is biased, the biasing is also random. You will die finding a reason behind your success or your failure, you will die wondering what your life would have been if just a particular incident has not happened to you. The answer lies in the randomness. Why do we pray god every day? We don't do anything despite of asking the creator for a favor in the game. As I have already said, I don't deny his existence, but your prayer will hit a practically deaf ear. No he isn't deaf at all but he acts deaf because this randomness is the only thing he can't help. He is also the part of the game which has been created keeping the randomness as the theme. Enjoy the game, ignore the biasing, this is all you can do and this is all that can be possibly done.
You must be thinking where my tedious efforts come into the play? Yes they also come into the play when they gains you some points based on the nature of your achievement which is also in turn based on the probability theory. As you matures as a player there are times when you hits a winner, that winner gains you some points and those points in turn increases the probability of winning in this game. Just remember your efforts do not gain points for you but the achievements do, and these achievements are subjected to the theory of probability.
How often do I get a chance to throw the dice? No, there is no definite frequency to with which you get a chance to throw the dice. One more type of randomness comes here into play. Your lifetime limits the duration for which you are allowed to stay in the game. This lifetime is also random; one may keep on playing for an entire century while some are allowed to play for few minutes.

I am a learner

I am a traveler, a living being, watching the time passing away like anyone else. The time passes and leaves a lot of impressions to be understood. It is the one who concludes finally .The only one who can challenge its decision is the time itself. I am trying to learn the language in which the time speaks in those left impressions. I am trying to be a better person by understanding it. The process is known as learning, which is guided by the will, which an inner most commitment taken by the hungry person who is residing beneath your skin. I am hungry, not starving, or I would better say, I can eat a horse. And as of now, I will be happy dying hungry. My hunger can only be quenched by fruitful knowledge which will lead me to success. The never lasting process of learning is the one who has kept me alive for last several years. And you know what … I'm lovin it !!

Come on, let's dare to leave !!

Someone inside me is saying these things from a long ago.. How long can be conceived by the fact that he has said these words so many times that I can remember each of them...

He says...

I want to live.. I want to live to live the life, i want to live to admire that reason because of which I am in existence. I have a reason to live and the reason is very selfish. I just want to agree those people who say that the world is beautiful. I have experienced not the worst but its casual part being where you always have to have a reason to be happy. I want to live in a world where happiness is in abundance, so that to feel it you just have to open your arms not even wide. An intelligent person may argue and say "happiness is just a state of mind, if u r wise enough you can achieve it right now and if you aren't then what's the issue?". I am neither a sage nor a saint, or maybe i am not wise enough, does it mean i don't deserve happiness? What if i am so desperate; what if i am so restless; what if i am over ambitious or what the fuck if i have countless desires? Don't I have a way? No there is one indeed. At least i believe that. Maybe it won't lead to the absolute final destination but least i would be happy walking. My path is not a rose bed like others who claims that they have achieved it by a daily practice of sitting in a peaceful environment at the front of lighted candles and chanting "peace" "god" "peace" "happiness". On my chosen way there will be winds blowing on my face, always trying to push me back, there will be a fiery sun shining overhead leaving me in pain. The distance will be long and there will be no turning back. And why should I return, after all there is nothing which will need me when i will far away, and i am taking utmost care of it.

Now it was my turn, and i asked, what you will do if there is a storm during? He thought of the best way and answered "i will anchor myself and wait for the misery to come to an end".

The fruit you are looking for, will it be there...? He said, I don't know but it's surely not here.

Like what the fruit is supposed to taste? He answered; it is supposed to have a taste I never had.

I finally asked "When you are departing?"... He said not only me; both of us have started our journey since you are writing this.

An attempt to touch the intangible

LIFE: An opportunityto realize your dreams.Life comes as an opportunity to everyone, as an opportunity to realize your dreams. This life has given us a time bound to which we will be on this earth. What is the most necessary thing that a man will ever need to make himself a successful person? Time, yes the time is the most vital part. Now while you are given a healthy body with an agile mind, what else do you need to be successful? The answer is time, Lifetime. So I think the life is an opportunity given by the almighty to realize our dreams.


PAST: A tutor, a harsh one but explains every concept very lucidly. What is there which can't be taken from you forcibly ... it's your past and it teaches you a lot. Your future could be destroyed, your present can be messed but it's the past which can't be touched.


FUTURE: A dream, a dream which must come true. The dream which is nourishing itself in the womb of the time.


PRESENT: the execution of the plan.If you don’t have any plans for the moment then you are not alive.


LOVE: reverence, worship, an upper glance. If you can't find a reason to respect a person, you can never be in love with him/her.


DREAM: The energy which will keep you going.


FAILURE: A propellant, not many will agree this but still i believe it firmly and it works for me.


WORRY: A kick starter, like a spark plug which starts the ignition of the engine which will rotate the wheels to make you reach the destination.


WORK: The worship, the only thing which will distinguish you with the other human. A landmark: around which you and your soul would be found.


PRINCIPLES: The dignified way to lead the life, against which you will be offended often.


HUMAN: The creature with the unlimited strength, imagination, capability, flair, knack. The creature yet unexplored completely.


SOUL: The sole persistent, immortal, intangible power which makes you what you are and to which you adds something every day consciously or unconsciously. It can be malicious, and is quite vulnerable despite of all its powers.


BRAIN: The only asset that men can posses.


HEART: Many times confused with the soul. In fact it’s the only mute organ present in the body which only speaks when one suffers with a heart attack. Your mind says, "i wish to feel this beautiful porcelain glass ", your hand will follow and will acknowledge the beauty. But you can't order your heart to miss a beat or beat more frequently. It's deaf and dumb too.


WEALTH: An entice, temptation, which will always lure the weak and incomplete person.