Its her turn !!

I said:

I saw you,
I fell in love;
I thought of you, both night and day,
My mind just couldn't seem to get away;
I thought am I right or am I wrong,
This thing is happening to me from a way too long;
But now i really think it will last,
And with a yes from you we will live a better part … ;
May this better part last forever,
I know both of us will add our different pleasant flavor;
may this be as smooth, as light, as shiny, like a bubble,
and I believe we would make a beautiful couple.

Her turn:

I do believe you and admit your love,
But as far as I know you love yourself much;
If you love me more than yourself,
Then yes I will love you more than anyone else;

I said:

I believe that I love you more than I love myself,
But the questions this mind is asking has left me clueless,
It says,
"If she loves you more than you love yourself, then why she is coming to you?
Doesn't she know that the day you will realize someone loving you more than yourself given that you love her more than yourself then I will have to die?
Yes she wants me to die.
And this is why I am telling you that she is telling you a lie."
So, finally I have to return,
Now I know the truth and I can't love a person who doesn't love me in turn.

Her turn: ……………………………………………………………………

i wish i could

I saw a girl;

Beautiful, shiny, lavishing like a pearl;

She was bright like the moon,

Took my painful mind away with her like a boon;

Her presence and my feelings were yet to believe,

Cutting all the voices and listening to her unheard words was such a relieve;

I know she was only visible to me,

Otherwise the world would have gone crazy;

My mind told me that it's not the right time to judge,

So I couldn't confess to me that it was love;

But the feelings were so authoritative,

My mind said those merciful word again, “you don’t want to do it”;

My mind refrained again,

And I left the place wishing not to see her ever again;

If there is a field beyond the right and the wrong,

I wish to create her again and walk along.

What was the theme under which this world was created?

I don't believe the hypothesis that the world has evolved, I believe in the creator. The creator who had everything very clear in his mind and worked accordingly. I wish if I could believe the scientific theory of the evolution of man but the thing that makes me wonder is the perfectness of the man. It is the smartness of this specie that can't be conceived without the concept of super power. I also believe in the nature and according to its name, it's natural. This is the only thing which is astonishing and has created itself, others being man made. No, the nature is not perfect but it's balanced. There are vast and endless deserts, there are depth less sea; there are places where nor you can enjoy lethal -20 degree Celsius temperature nor u can stand 60 degree of it. But when we see the nature as a whole it looks completely appropriate and balanced. It's vivacious, it's vivid, and the theme is quite clear; live. The thing I love about nature is it's equality for all beings.
Man has been the inhabitant of the earth since a long. Many of our ancestors told us a path to walk on and a way to live the life. But still there is no written clause under which everyone should everyone should lead his life to be successful. What is the definition of a completely successful person; can anyone give me an example? What is the set of rules which should be obeyed or I should better ask is there any of them? What is depraved and whom you can call a sinner. Why every one of us has to find his own way to lead the life? Many others like me must have existed on this earth and must have tried to solve the same questions I am trying. But the thing that makes me wonder is that, I have to start the same old journey travelled by many others, once again, with the same old point. When man can answer the most baffling puzzles left unanswered by our ancestors, why we can't answer this question which must has clicked on every head who has putted its weight on the earth.
The theme under which the world has been created is randomness. Randomness, which can be simply defined by dice. No matter how better you throw the dice in the same way the other has thrown, you would always be unable to get the same number other has got. This dice that is used upon you is not the same we use for playing. The dice we are familiar with has only six sides, leading to only six possibilities. The dice, that creator uses, and asks us to use has infinite sides. I would have been happy if I just had to be the part of this fair game which has a little probability of winning. But the game isn't fair; the dice he makes us to use is biased, the biasing is also random. You will die finding a reason behind your success or your failure, you will die wondering what your life would have been if just a particular incident has not happened to you. The answer lies in the randomness. Why do we pray god every day? We don't do anything despite of asking the creator for a favor in the game. As I have already said, I don't deny his existence, but your prayer will hit a practically deaf ear. No he isn't deaf at all but he acts deaf because this randomness is the only thing he can't help. He is also the part of the game which has been created keeping the randomness as the theme. Enjoy the game, ignore the biasing, this is all you can do and this is all that can be possibly done.
You must be thinking where my tedious efforts come into the play? Yes they also come into the play when they gains you some points based on the nature of your achievement which is also in turn based on the probability theory. As you matures as a player there are times when you hits a winner, that winner gains you some points and those points in turn increases the probability of winning in this game. Just remember your efforts do not gain points for you but the achievements do, and these achievements are subjected to the theory of probability.
How often do I get a chance to throw the dice? No, there is no definite frequency to with which you get a chance to throw the dice. One more type of randomness comes here into play. Your lifetime limits the duration for which you are allowed to stay in the game. This lifetime is also random; one may keep on playing for an entire century while some are allowed to play for few minutes.

I am a learner

I am a traveler, a living being, watching the time passing away like anyone else. The time passes and leaves a lot of impressions to be understood. It is the one who concludes finally .The only one who can challenge its decision is the time itself. I am trying to learn the language in which the time speaks in those left impressions. I am trying to be a better person by understanding it. The process is known as learning, which is guided by the will, which an inner most commitment taken by the hungry person who is residing beneath your skin. I am hungry, not starving, or I would better say, I can eat a horse. And as of now, I will be happy dying hungry. My hunger can only be quenched by fruitful knowledge which will lead me to success. The never lasting process of learning is the one who has kept me alive for last several years. And you know what … I'm lovin it !!

Come on, let's dare to leave !!

Someone inside me is saying these things from a long ago.. How long can be conceived by the fact that he has said these words so many times that I can remember each of them...

He says...

I want to live.. I want to live to live the life, i want to live to admire that reason because of which I am in existence. I have a reason to live and the reason is very selfish. I just want to agree those people who say that the world is beautiful. I have experienced not the worst but its casual part being where you always have to have a reason to be happy. I want to live in a world where happiness is in abundance, so that to feel it you just have to open your arms not even wide. An intelligent person may argue and say "happiness is just a state of mind, if u r wise enough you can achieve it right now and if you aren't then what's the issue?". I am neither a sage nor a saint, or maybe i am not wise enough, does it mean i don't deserve happiness? What if i am so desperate; what if i am so restless; what if i am over ambitious or what the fuck if i have countless desires? Don't I have a way? No there is one indeed. At least i believe that. Maybe it won't lead to the absolute final destination but least i would be happy walking. My path is not a rose bed like others who claims that they have achieved it by a daily practice of sitting in a peaceful environment at the front of lighted candles and chanting "peace" "god" "peace" "happiness". On my chosen way there will be winds blowing on my face, always trying to push me back, there will be a fiery sun shining overhead leaving me in pain. The distance will be long and there will be no turning back. And why should I return, after all there is nothing which will need me when i will far away, and i am taking utmost care of it.

Now it was my turn, and i asked, what you will do if there is a storm during? He thought of the best way and answered "i will anchor myself and wait for the misery to come to an end".

The fruit you are looking for, will it be there...? He said, I don't know but it's surely not here.

Like what the fruit is supposed to taste? He answered; it is supposed to have a taste I never had.

I finally asked "When you are departing?"... He said not only me; both of us have started our journey since you are writing this.

An attempt to touch the intangible

LIFE: An opportunityto realize your dreams.Life comes as an opportunity to everyone, as an opportunity to realize your dreams. This life has given us a time bound to which we will be on this earth. What is the most necessary thing that a man will ever need to make himself a successful person? Time, yes the time is the most vital part. Now while you are given a healthy body with an agile mind, what else do you need to be successful? The answer is time, Lifetime. So I think the life is an opportunity given by the almighty to realize our dreams.


PAST: A tutor, a harsh one but explains every concept very lucidly. What is there which can't be taken from you forcibly ... it's your past and it teaches you a lot. Your future could be destroyed, your present can be messed but it's the past which can't be touched.


FUTURE: A dream, a dream which must come true. The dream which is nourishing itself in the womb of the time.


PRESENT: the execution of the plan.If you don’t have any plans for the moment then you are not alive.


LOVE: reverence, worship, an upper glance. If you can't find a reason to respect a person, you can never be in love with him/her.


DREAM: The energy which will keep you going.


FAILURE: A propellant, not many will agree this but still i believe it firmly and it works for me.


WORRY: A kick starter, like a spark plug which starts the ignition of the engine which will rotate the wheels to make you reach the destination.


WORK: The worship, the only thing which will distinguish you with the other human. A landmark: around which you and your soul would be found.


PRINCIPLES: The dignified way to lead the life, against which you will be offended often.


HUMAN: The creature with the unlimited strength, imagination, capability, flair, knack. The creature yet unexplored completely.


SOUL: The sole persistent, immortal, intangible power which makes you what you are and to which you adds something every day consciously or unconsciously. It can be malicious, and is quite vulnerable despite of all its powers.


BRAIN: The only asset that men can posses.


HEART: Many times confused with the soul. In fact it’s the only mute organ present in the body which only speaks when one suffers with a heart attack. Your mind says, "i wish to feel this beautiful porcelain glass ", your hand will follow and will acknowledge the beauty. But you can't order your heart to miss a beat or beat more frequently. It's deaf and dumb too.


WEALTH: An entice, temptation, which will always lure the weak and incomplete person.